A Mental Workout (Pun Intended)

This past week, I achieved the goal I set for it. It was put on the back-burner for far too long, and recently I’ve been finding time I didn’t have previously to.. well, kind of finish up the things that have been haunting me from my to-do list for the past 6 months. Its immensely satisfying and also a sharp reminder of not committing to doing too much in a short amount of time. 

My week allowed for solitude. I had been having so many conversations in my head. With myself, with Him. I was reflecting on the way I talk to myself and the way I carry my hopes for the future. And I realised the sheer power of consistent, positive self-talk. I realised how much energy it takes to consciously think in a positive manner (but maybe that’s because I’m new to it?).

By conscious thinking, what I mean to say is – not having errant, meaningless thoughts, but thinking mindfully – if that makes sense? It felt like a mental sprint, haha.

But it worked. It works. It’s not like one of those skincare routines that you need to stick to for months to feel the change. I felt differently. I felt at peace. And it was what I desperately needed.

I understood then what was happening – why, at the start of my week, God had created a space in my life that left me overwhelmed with anxiety. I was faced with a giant question mark with no hope for answers. I had nowhere and no one else to turn to.

This was one of the toughest challenges for me – to let go, to trust, to whole-heartedly believe in a positive outcome despite not having any sign of it. It was like going in completely blind. Countering every negative thought with a positive one was something I just had to do. I couldn’t stay in my head – because I know what happens in there if I’m not mindful of what I think.

The question mark has still not received any answers, but my heart – although it fervently prays for a favourable response every chance it gets – is no longer anxious and impatient.

I once read that I can’t think my ambitions are too good to come true or too much for God to give me – I must show my dreams how big my God is. 🙂

I can’t doubt the authenticity of my own wishes. I just have to believe in them – for myself. So I can pray with conviction – and receive them whenever they’re meant to be. 🙂

P.S: I promise the picture is relevant to this post. I’d like to think she’s in a bit of a pickle with choosing what’s familiar & comfortable (the cake) over what’s challenging but necessary for personal growth (a banana smoothie – because I hate bananas). This is ofcourse, open to personal interpretations, lulz.

Faithfully yours,
– N


One thought on “A Mental Workout (Pun Intended)

  1. You don’t like bananas? I have to admit, I don’t like eating them straight from the peel. I like to add them in my oatmeal. They’re good in smoothies and baked goods. But then again, when can I say no to a baked good? 🙂 First of all, I think it’s great that you are actively making yourself think positive thoughts. It’s very difficult and I can’t say I do it very well or at all, because sometimes I think I’m being arrogant. But the difference with what you’re doing is making God a part of the picture and that’s what saves you from arrogance. I like what you wrote about receiving your wishes when they are meant to be. When I look back at my life and the dreams/goals I wanted to accomplish, I used to be upset for a time they never happened, but then at least actually did and I am so glad they happened later rather than right when I wanted them. Second, I applaud you for not only making a to-do list, but actually referring to them after you’ve written them. I typically don’t make them for life goals… and when I do, I never refer to them. I should start doing that.

    Liked by 1 person

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