People Always Leave

My heart fell when I heard the inevitable news. There were so many reasons as to why this was happening – I was trying hard to be optimistic and look at the bigger picture. It doesn’t reveal itself to me immediately, it takes time – it’s as though slowly, piece by piece, God explains the wisdom behind His decisions. He does it only when He knows I’m ready to understand it.

With that came a realisation in retrospect – and, to be perfectly blunt – I hate peeking into my “past”, so to speak – except in cases where I need to see how far I’ve come (Alhumdulillah). It hit me that everyone close to my heart are in different parts of the globe. And they are each unique individuals. Which is to say that it’s not a “group” – I have individual friendships with some wonderful individuals – on a one-to-one level.

But, I digress – what hit me was the pattern my life seemed to be following. Another person was leaving me. I wouldn’t see this person again for months. Our life was going to become long-distance phone calls, text messages and pictures trying our best to maintain some semblance of the bond we had amidst busy lives and frustrating time zones. Which is next to impossible – because its just not going to be the same as when you could easily pick up the phone and see them whenever you wanted to. You go through a period of rough adjustment before you resign to meet each other halfway and find a way to communicate that suits you. And life goes on. You come to understand that human connections surpass geography and reside within the expanse of the heart.

Out of the many lessons that came forth through this particular circumstance, one of that for me was that people always leave. I haven’t fully made my peace with this fact yet, despite the number of times this has happened. I’m afraid of bigger hits – more important chunks of my life disappearing. I know what it feels like to have a void in my heart but I also know that I don’t know it all. It can always be worse. I don’t think I could deal with that if it happens.

God was – no, is – teaching me to rely on Him alone. I see that. Even in the smaller instances – the colleagues I can share a genuine smile with, the tiny conversations I sometimes have with a couple of regular faces on my commute – they’ve either left or I’m aware that our time together is limited. I see that I’m being gently nudged to be conscious of the fact that what I seek from others’ – I need to seek it within. But more importantly, from the One who is Ever Lasting.

So why do we tend to make homes out of people? And why is separation so painful?

Heart wrenching-ly yours,
– N

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4 thoughts on “People Always Leave

  1. People leaving is always difficult. We understand that life is not permanent – we get it, theoretically. But when it happens in our life, it is not always easy to accept. I haven’t had to deal with real loss (death) in a while, but I felt these feelings when I moved away from my parents’ home about a year ago. It was only when I was gone that I became aware of how much of a support they were. It was the foundation upon which my life was based. That is why separation is painful, because through it, we are forced to build a new life for ourselves. Making homes out of people I believe is essential to being human. I don’t think we’d last very long, if we didn’t, for we are social beings and receive our strength through being in a community – but you’re right, it’s not people who give this strength. It is Allah. Humans are vessels. I know it’s difficult, but try to think of the positive that has come from having those people in your life. It makes the pain a little bit easier to bear.

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  2. Well, it’s certainly not just you Naureen. Loss, whether temporary or permanent, sucks. It’s what caused me to have my first panic attack. Making homes out of people doesn’t have to be a bad thing, so long as you except the fact that every once in a while, you’ll have to move.

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  3. May Allah shower you with mercy and patience! Its not easy letting go, of anything, places, people or sometimes things. But if there was any good in it, it would have stayed. I think people leaving, moving on is part of the cycle of life & a reminder that nothing in this world is constant or permanent. Even though, we cling on so hard and we beg Him to let those people stay… we have to trust that He knows better, His Wisdom and His Knowledge is far superior to ours and one day….. in sha Allah……. you will smile and say Alhamdulillah that happened… good will come you just have to wait for it.

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  4. …wow. This spoke to me on so many levels, Subhana’Allah ✨ Jazakulkahu Khayran for sharing your thoughts on the matter. This was a bittersweet reminder to me, of how temporary and fleeting life truly is ~

    But it also makes my heart yearn for what does last and that’s Jannah ✨ may you be reunited with your loved ones there and may you find peace and content in the time leading up to then. Ameen 💕

    Lots of love, from someone who can relate to the feeling very much –

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