Creative Obstacles I Face

We had compulsory art classes in school, and I remember being average at it. I remember that I always synonymously used the words “Art” with “creativity”. Growing up, I used to say I’m not a creative person, because I couldn’t draw, colour or paint. It took me a while before I realised that everyone has their own unique creative outlet, and that creativity was something beyond the typical list of “singing, dancing, playing an instrument or cooking.” It was not definitive. It was subjective. Not everyone discovers their creative outlet at an early age, and not everyone’s is so obvious. I now synonymise personal creativity with self-expression, which could be anything from the way I choose to stack multiple rings on my fingers to going off on a tangent when I’m speaking or writing.

For the longest time and counting, I’ve felt uncomfortable with calling myself a writer. I feel like that’s such a heavy definition to live up to. I feel pressured to create, and hit a dead end. It’s always a blank. I feel like a lone figure in the middle of a stretch of never-ending road, staring far ahead into the horizon – into nothingness. It’s easier to call myself a writer with writer’s block. Perhaps I’m uncomfortable with self-definitions, because they’re too black & white for an area that can be so grey. The self changes, there’s volatility in my comfort with the familiarity. I can write something today, and not write anything for a month. I can write multiple times in a week, or come up with an idea but not have any solid content to go along with it. I can expose myself to other great works’ but then when I sit down to create a draft, I draw up a blank.

I can never force myself to write, fiction or otherwise. I surprise myself each time I do it. It’s impulsive. It ebbs and flows to its own strange rhythm. As I write this, I realise I struggle with giving myself credit, but more so with the mental barriers that seem to have been made with a special blend of cement, a feeling of inadequacy + unnecessarily high expectations.

This is a constant work in progress – a progress that I can fully see, here and now, in the form of this post.

Something that tends to get lost amongst the chaos is the joy I feel in writing – for myself.
Happiness can’t be quantified in the number of times I write.

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Tell me, what’s your creative outlet? What does creativity mean to you?

Progressively yours,
-N

[All images & writing in response to the WordPress’ The Daily Post Discover Challenge Obstacles]

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3 thoughts on “Creative Obstacles I Face

  1. I loved this post, Naureen! I too am finally becoming comfortable with calling myself a writer. A lot of it has to do with being recognized as one, but I was one even before a month ago or whatever. I don’t write fiction, so therefore I only considered myself a journaler at best. Beyong wiring though, I’ve always had a penchant for more mainstream creative arts, singing mostly. But also drawing to a certain extent. And even some acting. But no one other than my immediate family knew this, so it didn’t seem like it was real, if you will. I’ve always measured my creativity to my sister’s, who’s an amazing artist, and have fallen short. But now I realize, being comfortable with breaking away from the linear is really what is it the heart of creativity. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Your words in this post just flowed so beautifully and effortlessly! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your input and kind words! 🙂 ❤ Fiction or not, you can connect with your audience & thats a win. I'm so happy you got your chance to be a recognised writer on The Tempest mA, you deserve it! I'm not at the stage you are right now but your story feels a tad like a future echo of mine haha, and it gave me hope to continue writing and expressing myself no matter how many people are reading (or lack thereof). P.S we can have a karaoke session in my car. Thats the only time where I bring out the singer in me teehee. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are most welcome! You certainly have a talent for writing and your blog/IG account is teeming with creativity! 🙂 Thanks so much for your kind words, Naureen! Insha’Allah, you’ll have even better! Yes, definitely do keep writing. It’s okay if you want to take a break from certain outlets, but never quit writing. As I’ve learned, the more you write, the better you get! Haha, let’s do it! Let’s have that karaoke session, girl!!!

        Liked by 1 person

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