A Woman’s Choice Is Not An Option

Whenever we come across situations where bigotry, discrimination, or any form of injustice towards minorities is present, we are usually quick to say that the people that hold these thoughts are uneducated. We believe education is the key to broadening minds and shaping perspectives. Education ultimately teaches you to be humble, appreciate differences, cultivates a sense of appreciation and equality.

But what about the people who have grown up in this day and age, received top notch education, and still hold illiterate opinions?

The people who seem to have a good grasp of balancing the practicalities of life and also a seemingly deep understanding of deen (religion)?

Then why is it, that we have educated men in our society* who are looking to get married to women who have been fortunate enough/interested in pursuing studies past their O-Level certifications – and yet want them to leave their career and be an at-home wife?

This is clearly not sitting well with me because I am unable to grasp the logic.
More importantly, it astounds me that anyone could have the audacity to take away a woman’s choice in this matter.

I’m sure there are women who love to dedicate their time at home a 100% with or without an education.
I’m sure there are women who juggle a career and a household as best as they can.
I’m sure there are women who may or may not neglect one or the other.

What I’m not so sure about is their choice in the matter.

It is imperative that everyone’s choice on how to live their own lives should be respected and honoured. If a woman wishes to further her career post-marriage, she should be allowed to. If she wishes to quit, she should be allowed to. If she wishes to start her career after marriage, she should be allowed to.

I don’t understand how any educated man could purposefully stifle his partner’s choice, but then that got me thinking that perhaps education doesn’t always solve everything, and doesn’t always work in the same way for everyone. Maybe it is a person’s upbringing and primary family environment that has a bigger part to play in a matter so fundamental in everyone’s lives.

But then, how do you show such people to cut away their strings of cultural conservatism?

Troubling-ly yours,
-N

*our society: refers to Pakistani/South Asian ethnicity.

Disclaimer: This is a general issue that I’ve personally seen, and my thoughts are not in any way, shape or form, to be applied to the entire male population. It’s odd to even have to put this in a disclaimer but, nitpickers, this one’s for you. Image taken from http://www.splitshire.com.

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9 thoughts on “A Woman’s Choice Is Not An Option

  1. so true. although i like to think/believe/and based on what i see, that our younger generation of desis, the boys/men are more willing/accepting/and okay with their wives working after marriage or pursuing furhter education. living in the west i believe can help men be more open to this! but surely enough, its still prevalent enough even in the western desi world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely. I personally know of men born and brought up in PK who strive to strengthen, empower and equally treat their wives. Idk why it is seen as a Western ideology when really, all it’s about is a woman’s basic right and choice – so long as ofcourse she’s not completely neglecting her other responsibilities too. I don’t know why women aren’t cut more slack and are under greater scrutiny for everything. Ok I’m done rambling, lol. Thank you so much for your input! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha i get what you mean, even in the west, i still feel lots of #desigirlproblems, even though, alhumd my parents are open minded and educated and not foreceful at all. its just the sad mentality of our culture. plus the culture vs religion battles are endless, and sadly many times, our desi things trump religion, which is so messed up but noone seems to want to change that! sighs!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Mine too Alhumdulillah. Thats what I was thinking yknow, ke a lot of it stems from family background and the environment we’ve been brought up in. Some things are so deeply embedded in our culture that it’s become the norm, and when anyone questions it, it’s supposedly quite offensive. SIGH. Collective sighs, haha.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree. As I like to say though, titles and certifications are no indication of how cultured or open-minded a person is. Education goes beyond degrees and we need to doba better job with how we educated both our boys and girls.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I know! I learned the hard way myself. But I guess, we can see this as a lesson, perhaps a call to action?

        Also, I apologize for my grammatical mistakes in my first comment. Still not used to this keyboard. Hehe!

        Liked by 1 person

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