The Misleading Phenomena of Self Love

I feel the term “self-love” was probably the buzzword of 2016. I haven’t researched this but I’m only going by the timeline of my own life, lulz. I think it sparked a very important understanding, and was a wake up call to many – including myself. And I think that thats what led to the increase in conversation surrounding mental health (which I feel has really come forth strongly this year).

When I first came across the term – I was confused. The explanations came from different people as they perceived it and it created an odd insecurity within me. Self love? Do I love myself? What does that even mean?

I had been associating the Continue reading “The Misleading Phenomena of Self Love”

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The Flip Side of Things

I woke up super late today. My body clock has not been cooperating with me for the past couple of weeks as I’m struggling to make adjustments to my routine. As such, I usually wake up in a state of “Ugh, not again.”

But today, I didn’t want to scold myself for waking up late. My brain needed the sleep. It wasn’t shutting up. I decided I would enjoy a few moments of quiet to myself, despite the cacophony of abstract thoughts and music already starting to play up in my head.

Just as I was getting ready for the day, I unexpectedly got a call from my brother to pick him up if I could which entailed me leaving immediately because he’d be arriving at the station in 10 minutes. On our drive back home, during our conversation, I was unknowingly making a string of complaints, and although I knew he was being playful – he started mimicking me: “Chai se pehle mein ghar se nahi nikalti, I haven’t done x, y and z and I’ve had to come to pick you up. Why’re you complaining, Naureen? Be grateful” he said, emphasising the last word with as much sarcasm as he could put in those two syllables (because this is what I keep telling him).

Continue reading “The Flip Side of Things”

Growing Pains

It is a struggle to battle with the barrage of negativity in my head. Some days are good, where everything feels manageable and I wonder why I can’t feel so light on the other days about whatever it is that’s bothering me. Some days are too terrible for words. But these are extremes. It’s the inbetweens that can be particularly demoralising – when I’m hit by the familiar feeling of despair just as I felt like I was making progress.

These were my exact thoughts today: I just promised myself yesterday that I’m going to move forward. This is draining my energy. Its doing me no good. I cant stay here. I need to change perspective. 

I know my trigger(s) to the Continue reading “Growing Pains”

The Dramatic Tale of a Dental Extraction

My recurring tooth infection in the same place told me that the time had now come to get it extracted. The prognosis was that it was an impacted wisdom tooth and was supposedly a high-risk so I was referred to an “extremely capable” dental surgeon.

My x-rays confirmed what I already knew – that I have no space in my mouth for any further teeth to disrupt erupt in my life, nor any desire to bear the pains of an infection again. So, although I was petrified at the aftermath of an extraction, I obviously went for it because it was either pain management for the rest of my life or short-term pain in which the root of the problem would literally be taken out. (I’m speaking as if I’m from Continue reading “The Dramatic Tale of a Dental Extraction”

The Space Between Where We Are and Where We Want to be

I watched an interview of a very famous fashion designer in Pakistan, mostly due to the way the show is hosted, and not because I like the designer or his clothes. I’ve seen his personality a few times and to me, he always came off as someone I just did not like as much as he was supposedly liked within the celebrity fraternity.

After listening to his interview though – I felt like someone was lifting a mirror up to me and asking: Are you really doing enough? That man in fashion that you’ve only ever seen on tv, can you tell that he was brought up by Continue reading “The Space Between Where We Are and Where We Want to be”

Wealth (synonym: health)

This year in particular, I’ve had more severe issues with my health than I have before. Subsequently, my journey began in really understanding nutrition and my own strength. Each time I think of physical pain, I cringe. Why do people say that if you’ve gone through it enough number of times it becomes easier? I draw a blank when I try to think of how I pull through – or no, that’s not quite true. It’s sheer mental tenacity, and also God’s Will. It’s very easy to develop a tunnel vision when you’re sick – you cant focus on anything besides the pain. I remember a nurse telling me once that I can bring myself out of my own pain as long as I Continue reading “Wealth (synonym: health)”

Revival

Writing this post feels like confronting an audience of sorts, like making a shy entry into a room full of people you used to meet all the time but haven’t met in so long, that even when the time came – it felt.. awkward.

This is a silly notion after all, since this is my own platform and I’ve always written for myself. The number of people who read my blog are a handful but that is not to say that they – that you – don’t matter. And what is a blog without its readers?

All this time, I felt the reason I couldn’t write here was because I wouldn’t know how to Continue reading “Revival”

A Mental Workout (Pun Intended)

This past week, I achieved the goal I set for it. It was put on the back-burner for far too long, and recently I’ve been finding time I didn’t have previously to.. well, kind of finish up the things that have been haunting me from my to-do list for the past 6 months. Its immensely satisfying and also a sharp reminder of not committing to doing too much in a short amount of time.  Continue reading “A Mental Workout (Pun Intended)”

Cake

This space has been a gawking hole in my heart for such a long time now – I do blame the corporate world for this, however it’s also one of those things that you keep letting fester because it feels like getting back into the swing of things will be so overwhelming –  not realising it’s just going to keep getting tougher as time passes. 😦 SO. I was like. Bas. Bohot hogaya hai. Continue reading “Cake”

Unpause

I clicked on the Write button on the header before my impulse to at least get a couple of words in before I really start to feel the painful hunger pangs that will push me to prepare breakfast. This impulse, just FYI, has been egged on by months of mentally pushing myself to post anything. I mean like. I love this. The act of writing to share, to understand, to release, to reflect – with the little community I’ve got on here. I don’t even have a good excuse, honestly. It is valid, sure – I let my Continue reading “Unpause”